Following my appendix’s recent decision to explode I spent a week in a public hospital. It really didn’t bother me that for a few days I was confined to bed, what with an abdominal drain and urinary catheter, and couldn’t smoke.

When no longer tied to my bed I ventured outside to have a smoke. A motion-activated announcement at the entrance and numerous signs made it clear that smoking is prohibited on the whole of the hospital grounds. So I walked to the very edge of the hospital and lit up. It was immediately obvious that not all smokers abided by the prohibition, however.

Quite a few people lit up where the no smoking announcement would have been clearly audible, with others smoking immediately outside the entry doors – one woman even dragging her IV stand with her. Mostly these rebels were of the thong wearing, heavily tattooed, avoid-eye-contact-with type, one with “just fuck 0ff” tattooed on the back of his neck. It was very amusing watching hospital staff run the gauntlet of bogan smokers, glaring at them but not game to say anything.



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