CAPITAL PUNISHMENT’S UPSIDE

No sane person wants to hear a proud murderer claim he’s being mistreated:

Right-wing extremist Anders Behring Breivik, who killed 77 people in Norway in 2011, was called to the stand Wednesday to testify about his prison isolation on the second day of his lawsuit against the Norwegian state.

Describing himself as a model prisoner, the 37-year-old charged that the state “has been trying to kill me for five years” by keeping him in isolation. He describes his conditions as “torture” while many would argue they are more than comfortable.

 Breivik spent much of his testimony elaborating his extremist ideology, but he also complained of drinking cold coffee and eating frozen meals heated in a microwave — a fate “worse than waterboarding” — and said he was suffering from “headaches”, “apathy” and “insomnia”.

His lawyer has argued that isolation has caused Breivik “clear damage”, citing memory loss and an inability to focus on his political science studies.

Of my God, the unimaginable horror of tepid beverages and microwave-heated food. Give me access and a .45 so I can ease the pain.

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