Billed as satire by Daily Life, Clementine Ford’s latest effort isn’t as funny as her “public hair” stuff-up but you gotta give the woman credit for trying:

It’s only February, but frontrunner for the International Hero of the Year 2017 has to be California resident Gayle McCormick, who put a giant check next to her own name when she decided to leave her husband of 22 years because he supported Donald Trump.

In case you were wondering, walking out on a two decades long marriage because you’ve found out your husband parenthetically hates women is the correct answer.

The baller move happened after McCormick’s husband “casually mentioned” last year that he was planning on voting for a clown-baby with a Twitter addiction and a raging case of narcissism …

Ford was a candidate?

“I felt like I had been fooling myself,” McCormick told The Independent. “It opened up areas between us I had not faced before. I realised how far I had gone in my life to accept things I would have never accepted when I was younger.”

So how do you celebrate dumping the person you’ve vowed to stand by for better or worse, through sickness and in health, ’til death do you part – after you discover they are not in fact the person you thought they were, but rather a few gallons of fermenting pond scum stuffed into a human-shaped suit?

Short of spending the rest of your life inebriated while attempting to scrub every last remnant of their DNA from your skin, you have a few options for party fun times. And because today is Valentine’s Day, we thought we’d share some examples of how you can romance yourself now that you’ve got rid of literally the worst person you’ve ever let see you naked.

Or in the case of Ford’s obviously wussy boyfriend when he eventually departs, leaving literally the worst person he’s ever seen naked.

Please do read the whole of Ford’s “satire” to see if you can find anything funny.

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