VAGINA WHIFFY? BLAME TRUMP

A reported 72 percent of Democrats found the 2016 presidential campaign  a “very or somewhat significant source of stress.” The ongoing trauma resulting from a Trump presidency is wrecking lefties’ sexual and reproductive health, their bodies internally flooded with stress hormones.

A compromised sexual and reproductive health system is often one of the most obvious signs of increased stress levels for the sufferer in question. For example, one main cause of yeast infections is an increase in stress, leading to a weakened immune system and a lessening of naturally occurring vaginal bacteria, leading to an overgrowth of yeast. For some, a Trump presidency means just that.

“I have had two yeast infections in the past couple of months, which is highly unusual, and I think it’s due to the stress I am embodying,” says Andréa, a 22-year-old Latina/Jewish bisexual female. “I went into a shock as soon as [the election result] was finalized. I could not stop bursting into tears for the first few days.”

Maybe they’ll stop reproducing. We can only hope.

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