SIMPLETON SEDUCTOR

Consider the following scenario. It’s early 1990s Britain. Your wife loses interest in sex after the birth of your second child. Prostitutes provide your only sexual outlet. You become enamoured of a 13 year-old female – she reveres you as the best boss she’s ever had – who works in the shop you own. You groom the lass by taking her to locals pubs, plying her with weakly alcoholic drinks. You eventually take her back to your family apartment, where you give her 80 proof alcohol to loosen her inhibitions. She rightly declines your advances. End of story.

Improbable for lots of reasons, but this tale is told by Clementine Ford in a Daily Life article. It’s equally likely she has been abducted and sexually abused by Venusians.

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