IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA

A group of foreign backpackers in Perth recently received a surprise gift in the form of a parcel addressed to an unknown third party. As would anyone travelling overseas, the backpackers opened the parcel, finding inside a bag of fine white powder labeled “scoop”.

The backpackers, again, as would anyone possessing an unknown white powder, assumed it was a snortable drug, which was duly divided up and Hoovered up their noses. The “high” was unexpected:

“It was carnage … some of them were strapped to the stretchers and were totally unconscious. Two other guys were fitting and flailing around with their arms and legs and pulling strange faces.”

RPH emergency physician David McCutcheon said it was not yet known whether any of the patients would suffer lasting injuries, such as damage to their internal organs.

“They were brought to us in a state of agitated delirium,” Dr McCutcheon said. “They were hallucinating, their hearts were racing, several of them had to be put in a medically induced coma for their own protection and I really need to emphasise how seriously unwell they were.

Nine morons ended up in hospital, three of then last night still in intensive care, medical staff unable to tailor overdose treatment because the drug was unknown. It was eventually determined that the “scoop” is scopolamine, one of the toxic ingredients of the aptly named plant deadly nightshade.

Chances are slim to none that anyone other than Australian taxpayers will foot the medical bills.

 

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